How to claim Bir Tawil
Did you ever hear the tail of Bir Tawil? A place a dessert hellhole so wretched no country wants it? Weird World Wire decided to visit.
Her’e our take on visiting Bir Tawil!
What’s the story with Bir Tawil?
So there is a big chunk of land between Sudan and Egypt called Bir Tawil, there’s another large chunk of land called the Hala’ib triangle. There were two maps drawn in 1897 and 1902. One had the Hala’ib triangle as part of Egypt and Bir Tawil as part of Sudan, the other visa versa. It turns out the Hala’ib Triangle is quite nice (it even has beaches), and it is a bit shit. Therefore they both claim the good bit.
What about the Hala’ib Triangle?
Sudan and Egypt both claim it, but Egypt have much bigger guns. It is part of Egypt.
So, who owns Bir Tawil?
From an international standpoint, It is kind of owned by no one, but in fact, it is in reality under the control of Sudan.
Does anyone claim Bir Tawil?
The most famous claimant to North Sudan is King Heaton of definitely not imperialist US of A. In a rather touching story, and he claimed it as the Kingdom of North Sudan to make his daughter a princess. Quite cute except he now thinks he an actual King. When we told we’d been there, he got quite but-hurt and said we should have asked permission from him. We really didn’t care.
There are other equally crazy claimants, such as a Russian and an Indian guy that have at least visited there, and other intent loons that regularly get into scary online wars.
Dear King Heaton of the Kingdom of North Sudan, and all other claimants, I planted a flag, masturbated and took a dump whilst I was there. It is just as much mine as it is yours now.
So, can anyone claim Bir Tawil?
Yeah, anyone can, and in fact, plenty of people do claim this piece of land, but as Tyler Durden famously proclaimed in Fight Club, sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken! Try rocking up there claiming a country and then informing the UN about your plan and see if Sudan and Egypt like your idea.
King Heaton actually informed us he would be using Saudi mercenaries….
Does anyone live in Bir Tawil?
That brings up another rather sticky point when it comes to claiming said land, and that is people already there. The point is the people who inhabit this land are called the Ababda tribe, and they really aren’t keen on other people claiming it. They called Mister, I mean King Heaton that “silly man.” Not our words, your majesty, theirs….
So, what is it like to travel to there?
Pretty damned fun! You drive through northern Sudan, not to be confused with the Kingdom of North Sudan. You get to look at pyramids, hang in cool little towns and even eat street food!
Bir Tawil even has a little kinda capital city with restaurants and shops. Alas, there is no pub crawl, although the great sin that is nonalcoholic beers can be purchased.
And that is our take on our Grand Tour to Bir Tawil. If you still want to claim it, despite our advice, we advise that you at least make the effort of coming here….
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