At Weird World Wire, we are not claiming to be advising you where to spend your holidays; in fact, we’re more experts in what Premier Trump refers to as “shit holes.” We introduce Migingo Island.
Migingo is a 2,000-square-metre island in Lake Victoria. All good so far except it nearly caused a war between Kenya and Uganda Oh, and it is densely populated, like bat shit crazy over-populated.
The History of Migingo Island
Back in 1991, two Kenyan fishermen, by the names of Dalmas Tembo and George Kibebe, claim to have been the first inhabitants on the island. At the time, it was a shit hole covered in weeds, birds, and poisonous snakes. Not exactly prime real estate. Following this Joseph Nsubuga, a Ugandan fisherman, says he settled on Migingo in 2004 when all he found on the island was an abandoned house, he was closely followed by fishermen from Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania, creating a nice little ethnic hot-pot, and of course, sew the seeds for a future territorial dispute!
Almost War Over Shit Island
Whilst the residents were busy building shit and going about their fishermen like ways shit started to hit the fan. In 2004 Uganda landed on the island and planted a flag, this really pissed off the Kenyans, cue five years of bitching and rival planting of flags. Amusingly this culminated in a meeting on the island in 2009, where the Kenyan delegation called the Ugandan delegation hyenas. Eventually, the Ugandans stopped acting like petulant children and no longer claim the island. What the Ugandans needed was a strong leader like Idi Amin, said no one ever.
Building of Prosperous Island
With the island now free from the read of the glorious Ugandan war machine, it was now time for the native population of Migingo Island to start building stuff and build they did.
Nowadays, there are 131 permanent residents on Migingo Island, which gives it a ratio of 65,500 people per square kilometre, or as we like to say, “the most densely populated place on earth.”
What does Migingo Island look like?
It looks like a shanty town built on a really small island because Migingo Island is basically a shantytown on a really small island.
What is there to do on Migingo Island?
This is where you have to give them some credit, despite having only 131 people they have four pubs. This is as many pubs as they have in the genuine nation of Nauru.
But, and here is the kicker, they have much more than just bars! A friend of mine once had an idea for a business whereby he would run an orangutang brothel. The big monkeys would be shaved (of course), but at the brothel, he would also sell lipstick and shaving equipment for the orangoutangs. Supply and demand, a double business, and so it goes on Migingo Island.
There are a number of brothels on Migingo Island to survive the rather tired fishermen. Fun fact there are only two things that smell of fish, one of them is fish.
As well as the brothels, there is one pharmacy. Genius, people get the clap, then go to the pharmacy. Not quite as genius as the orangutang beauty shop, but right up there.