The almost parties of the US election

Democrats, Republicans? OK, but what about the almost parties of the US Election?

If you’ve been following the US election at all, we will excuse you if you are a little confused. Both sides are claiming victory, no one really understands how the system works, and it is a bit a shit show.

The Electoral College

Instead of just voting for a President like a normal country the US has some weird beast called the Electoral College. In short this means that each state has a certain amount of votes that it can put towards who will be President of US and A. This depends on how big the state is, in theory. In fact small states and swing states have a a ridiculously big say in who becomes the First Lady.

Sounds simple, but in actual fact it isn’t and not only does it often mean the winner of the popular vote doesn’t always become President, it also firmly entrenches a two party system.

The two Party System in America

For all intents your choice is between Republican and Democrat. This has been compared to a having to choose between Pepsi and Coca-Cola. Other parties certainly exist, but the existing system means that they have basically zero chance of ever winning. Ross Perot of the Reform Party was the closest recent example.

Fun fact there are more political parties in the parliament of North Korea, which you can read about here.

Who are these other parties?

In many a good dictatorship they use “Popular Fronts” as a way to show a veneer of democracy. In America one might argue that letting anyone set up a political party, but giving them no chance of ever winning acts in a similar way.

And make political parties people do, some have huge memberships, others really not so much so……

Here’s the best and indeed the worst of the other political parties of worlds greatest “democracy”.

(National) Almost parties of the US Election

Libertarian Party (USA)

The Libertarian party was founded in 1972 and they are usually the third force of American politics, although this really does not mean very much. Libertarianism is basically ultra-capitalism without a police force.

If you want to learn more about libertarianism then check out our blog on the worst ideologies ever.

Green Party (USA)

The Green Party were formed in 2012 and are the 4th biggest party in the US. A bog standard left-wing green party, sadly in a country led (at lest now) by a dude that thinks global warming is a hoax. Good luck guys…..

Constitution Party

Formerly the US Tax Payers Party, they represent right-wing Christian values and are anti-abortion. Yes these guys are so right-wing they feel that Donald Trump is too liberal. Let that sink in for  a moment. If you support the Constitution Party you’re basically a twat.

(Minor) Almost parties of the US Election

Party for Socialism and Liberation

I accidentally discovered these guys whilst closely following the vote in Florida, won by Trump, but where these cats managed a decent innings at 0.1%! A good old fashioned communist party formed in 2004. Definitely supporters of ANTIFA. The US is unlikely to have a communist revolution anytime soon. And no, Bernie Sanders is not a communist.

Reform Party of the United States of America

Remember Ross Perot? The guys came closest to breaking the two party system, but Perot died and now the party are pointless. Their ideology is “radical centrism”, which literally makes no sense, like being a “party animal Mormon”.

Prohibition Party

One of the oldest parties in the USA having been formed in 1869. These dicks care so much about what other people do that they stand on the single principle of not wanting OTHER people to be able to legally drink. Thankfully no one listens and weed is legal in most places now. Take that!

Socialist Workers Party (USA)

In the UK the SWP are a bunch of Trots, but in the US they are Castroists (apparently). They actually started as Trots, who usually criticize Cuba, but are famous for their support. Long story short they are not coming to power.

And that is our take on the also men and the crazies that show just how America is greatest democracy on earth.

Almost parties of the US Election, we salute your fruitless efforts to change the two party system.

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