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The Good, The Bad and the Bitchy – Micronations

What is a micronation? A miconation is a virtual country, new country project, role-playing self-declared states and a whole heap of stuff in-between. It is also a community so bitchy it would put supermodels to shame! They are not to be confused with microstates, which are small actual countries.

Me and micronations

In was in 2001 when I first got me some home internet, now there is only so much porn one man can watch, so I ended up getting drawn into the fascinating world of micronations. I even paid $30 to become a citizen of the Republic of Lomar, but more on that fiddle later.

By far the best website for micronations is still hosted on Angelfire (remember those guys). I really suggest checking out their site here.

So, as I have duly explained micronations come in many different shapes and sizes, but can be split into 4 main groups, model countries, new country projects, self-proclaimed states, and flat out frauds. Oh and there is also a bonus round of the dicks who claim Bir Tawil, and people buying islands, which I will cover later.

I will do my best to explain all of these, as well as give my top examples of each category.

Model Countries

Model countries go from being tongue in cheek, to being taken ridiculously seriously. Quite often it is someone who has just declared their bedroom a nation, or their house. We give a firm thumbs-up to these people.

One of the best examples of this is the comedian Danny Wallace who declared his bedroom the Kingdom of Lovely, as part of project about Micronations. There are literally thousands of model countries, the main rule seems to be 95% are monarchies, with the rest being communist dictatorships.

New Country Projects

New country projects are probably my favorite of the lot, but oh so very bitchy. These guys are serious about starting countries, but if you join any of the many Facebook groups you will see just how catty they are with each other. The main aim of these groups is to piss on the chips of anyone trying to do the same. Every 4th post is also about how to claim Bir Tawil, which we will talk about later…

Some new country projects are not all that great, but some are really trying to do “something”, many also offer passports,  which is pretty cool if you are a geek like me.

Let’s Buy An Island

My favorite of the lot, because I started this 11 years ago, but now we actually have an island. I contacted Hutt River Province (more on them later) to say how much I admired them and wanted to link to them. They replied with “fuck you we are real you are not”. The Micronational community is not exactly a brotherhood. I also had my fortune told by other “states” I reached out to. Rather saddening at the time, but hey I have a Caribbean Island now and they don’t.

Republic of Lomar

This was the first viral country and one in which I paid $30 to join, I never got a reply from them. They are now known as the Regency of Lomar and for some reason are still going after 20 odd years!

Wirtland

They seem to have gone quiet for now, but for a long time Wirtland were a big thing. They even have a Wikipedia page, but they were the first successful “virtual” nation, and aimed to be a country without land.

Slef-Procimaied states

Now this is a very interesting category as many of these are almost countries, many really are not! You could argue that some have even as much legitimacy as say Transnistria an unrecognized country (whole different ball game).

If you want to learn about unrecognized countries click here.

Principality of Sealand

Situated on an old World War 2 Fort Sealand is the benchmark for Micronations. After fighting off the British, holding a German for ransom and due to the fact that they were in international waters, the water is very muddy here as to what they are. To me they count as a country.

Read more about what counts as a country here.

Hutt River Province

The guys who were very rude to me, but still a benchmark for the little guys. A guy had a farm in Australia, did not want ti pay tax, so due to some colonial law declared himself a Principality. They ended up paying the tax and just a few months ago ceased being a nation.

To read about Hutt River rejoining Australia click here.

There are many others under this category, but those are the only two I give any real credit to.

Fraudulent countries

Picture the scene, you make your own nation, no one recognizes you, but you start to sell things like bank charters, passports and the like. This what we like to call fraud!

The Dominion of Melchizedek

These guys are the absolute godfathers of fraudulent shit! I once e-mailed them about a passport and got quoted 30 grand! The previous leaders all did time for serious crimes, but it just keeps reinventing itself. Supposedly its a religious nation built around the Melchizedek Bible. Apparently the Central African Republic recognized them (briefly), which sparked one of the wittiest comebacks ever “you get the feeling they would recognize the state of Denial if it had a letterhead”. Boom you have been served. They claim a lot of the planet.

Claimants to Bir Tawil

Bir Tawil is the only unclaimed piece of land on earth, which now means that hundreds of people now claim it. From what I can gather 3 people have been there at least that claim it, I have been there and decided not to claim it. The first visitor did it so he could make his daughter a princess. I am not going to name his “country”, nor link to him. His cute story unraveled when we told him we’d been to Bir Tawil at which time he said he was hiring Saudi Mercenaries to take the place and we should not have gone without permission. Turns out the King of North Sudan tis a bit of a cock. In actual fact the Ababda tribe live here, and you cannot claim it.

To read about Bir Tawil click here.

Better still buy the book about our trip there.

Do you have a mironational tale to tell? WWW would love to hear from you.

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