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UK Man Jailed for Banging Chickens to Death As Wife Filmed

It is not all that often when you can largely sum up a story in the opening gambit, but a UK male has been jailed for 3 years for banging chickens to death ,whilst his wife filmed it. Yep, that is what happened!

Murder most fowl AKA banging chickens to death

 The convict has been identified as 37-year-old Rehan Baig. Baig and his wife would seemingly buy chickens with him literally banging them to death whilst his wife made videos of the affair. To give his wife some credit, she would not only film on a camera phone, but also professionally on a GoPro. GoPro declined to comment when asked if they would use videos of banging chickens to death in any future marketing campaigns.

Apparently all the chickens that he screwed died as a result with there being at least one instance of chicken bestiality necrophilia (there’s one for the CV).

The files were then sickly saved under Family Videos by the wife. I remember my dad letting me watch Robocop when I was 8 and thinking that was a wild family night.

Sometimes the chickens would be tied down, showing he had tendencies for bestiality, necrophilia and bondage, or as it is technically known “flogging a dead horse”.

Catching the fowl beat (sorry for using the joke twice).

He was caught when police were tipped off that he had child pronopgraphy on his computer, which he did, but it was under the Family Videos section

Case goes to court

Rehan Baig was sentenced to three years in jail (for banging chickens to death).

His wife admitting aiding and abetting to the cruel chicken carnage with there being at least one video of him alternating between doing her and the chicken. Apart from this being the worlds worst 3 sum, it also shows quite clearly how diseases spread from animals to humans.

The wife duly claimed “abuse” and was spared jail for being a female. And if history has taught us anything it is that women never do anything wrong.

In prison they notoriously do not like sex offenders, so it is quite likely then whilst in the penn (see what I did there) he anus will become the chicken.

Whether the chickens were eaten after, or not has not been mentioned, although it should be duly noted they were definitely not Halal.

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