At Weird World Wire, we suggest drinking responsibly, just kidding we don’t care. We have though compiled a list of the top ten selling brands of liquor in the world.
The research was hard and gruelling, and follows on from our “research” into the world’s best-selling beer.
Strap in and get ready to be very shocked by our research.
10) Tanduay Rum
Fresh from the Philippines and with almost 17 million cases sold, Tanduay is the second biggest-selling rum in the world. The amazing thing here is that almost all sales are in the Philippines alone. Amazing and a bit fucked up. They claim to be the best rum in the world. They are definitely not.
Cases sold – 17 million
9) Bacardi Rum
The top ten and already two shit rums under our belt! Bacardi was formed in Cuba but left when the pesky communists took over. Now you can consider it American puppet rum. If you want a real rum that’s still made in the Bacardi distillery, drink Havana Club like a man!
Cases sold – 17.5 million
8) Johnny Walker
Scotland is famous for its great Whiskies, Johnny Walker is not one of them, but it does have the prestige to make it the 9th best selling brand in the world, but alas only the 5th best selling whisky. The North Koreans even modelled their own whisky on it. Surely no greater honour?
Cases sold – 17.8 million
7) Royal Stag
OK, so now the list starts to get boring for a bit with the first of 4, yes, 4 Indian whiskies to make this list. They are owned by Pernod Ricard. I have never tried it.
Cases sold – 18 million
6) Imperial Blue
Another Indian whiskey that is also owned by Pernod and has sold almost exactly the same amount. Yawn.
Cases sold 18.1 million
5) McDowell’s Number 1
At last, a brand that isn’t Indian! After all, it is called McDowells, surely it is Scottish, right? No, it is the second best selling Indian whisky.
Cases sold – 25.4 million
Ah, one we can all recognize! Smirnoff likes to sound and look Russian, but it is about as Russian as an acne infested teenage keyboard warrior communist. Smirnoff is actually as American as Apple Pie and soldiers raping schoolgirls in Japan. The best selling vodka brand by far, which is a shame as Stolichnaya is far superior.
Cases sold – 25.5 million
3) Emperador Brandy
And the bronze medal goes to……Emperador Brandy, not heard of it? Then you have definitely not been to the Philippines. Emperador is made for the people that cannot afford Tanduay. Few people drink this by choice. It is another shocker in that it is hardly exported, although I bought a bottle in the Marshall Islands last year.
Cases sold – 28 million
2) Officer Choice
Yay, another Indian whisky we have never heard of! Officer Choice is the number one selling whisky in India and, therefore, the world. Yep, we get it India; you really like your whisky. Colonialism really wasn’t that bad, eh! I’ll add, Dear Scotland stop complaining about English rule you were obviously fairly present during colonialization.
Cases sold – 34 million
1) Jinro Soju
BOOM! The best selling brand of gods green earth is Jinro Soju. We are huge fans of drinking soju, and we were doing it way before everyone else thought it was cool. In fact, during the last five years, soju has crept into mainstream society. The majority, however, is still drunk by Koreans, which in our mind makes them pretty badass.
Drinking is fun. That is all.
Cases sold – 74 million cases of Jinro Soju sold every year making it the top selling liquor!
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