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COVID-19 Porn is a thing

There’s an excellent line in Schindlers List, where he declares that there was one thing missing in all of his previous business ventures when his wife asks what he declares a “war”, and my word, we are now in World War C (see what I did there). As with anything, there are always those that will profit during a disaster, and my goodness the Porn Barons have taken a stand!

I’ll go into another anecdote now; I remember a meme that simply showed a couch in a bland looking room saying “when your girl says she has a job interview” posted it on my Facebook, and people either got it or did not. Essentially you either watch porn or you don’t.

I’ll go out on a limb and assume you’re part of the former and have heard of PornHub. PornHub is the mac daddies of internet sexy times, and they cover every fetish from gokkum to people pooping on each other.

For a long time, the global fetish of choice seemed to be brothers and sisters, a fetish so profound that even The Onion were forced to do a story explaining they had discovered that, in fact, not all of the said siblings in videos were actually related.

But pornography, like any form of serious art, is forced to move with the times, and PornHub has been at the forefront of innovation here. Their first move was to grant Italians stuck inside free access to PornHub Premium, before then taking things to the next logical level, coronavirus porn.

I shall forever remember my first encounter with this new genre of getting off when a friend in New Zealand sent me a short video which appeared to be a Chinese hospital dealing with victims of COVID-19. It was only when the pretty nurse removed her bottoms and jumped onto the Right Honorable Member of Pantchester did I realize I had been duped.

And now the genre is flourishing, sex in facemasks, hospital-based sex jollies, you name it, and the porn world is making it.

Now, you either already know about this, or you don’t watch porn.

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