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Will Nauru Be the Last Country to Get Coronavirus?

Will Nauru be the last country to get Coronavirus? We don’t know, but we’ve decided to rip-off a much more serious article and ask the same question.

Have you ever heard of the Republic of Nauru? Nauru is the second smallest UN country (don’t get me started over what counts as a country) after Monaco, and with the second smallest population, after Tuvalu (another great contender), and most sexily is the least visited country in the world. That is right, the least visited country in the world, with a mere 160 visitors per year.

Now, while it is impressive to be good at anything, being good at having not many people visit, you might not exactly be considered a “skill.” To put this into context, fewer people decide to holiday on this remote island, than in Libya, or Somalia.

So, why do so few people visit Nauru?

This is obviously a multi-faceted question, but it is partly down to its remoteness. There are many more remote islands on earth, but as sovereign UN countries go, Nauru is at the top of the pile.

Does anybody go to Nauru?

Funnily enough, despite the lack of tourists, there are lots of people who move to Nauru, with most of them being refugees housed on behalf of Australia. Something the lefties, and the refugees don’t really like, but that is also probably better than the war-torn country they fled from. We digress.

What is there to do on Nauru?

Not all that much unless you like fishing, or looking at old phosphate mines. Ironically the country used to have the most significant phosphate reserves on the planet and was also (briefly) the wealthiest country by GDP on the planet.

What happened to all the money in Nauru?

They wasted it on bad real estate developments, and bad musicals. These wasted real estate developments and musicals is what led them down the path of “housing” refugees.

What are phosphates, and how are they made?

Phosphates are used for shit like gun powder and are formed over millions of years by birds shitting on your island.

Why doesn’t Nauru become an offshore banking haven?

They tried that, it didn’t end well, and Australia told them to stop.

Why doesn’t Nauru make loads of overpriced beach resorts?

Nauru has been shat on by god from a lofty height in many ways. Firstly there’s how they’ve literally been shat on, by birds that is, and secondly, when god or Joseph Smith made Nauru, they made it without a single beach that you can swim on without being sliced to pieces by rocks.

So, why will Nauru (probably) be the last country on earth not to get COVID-19

It is the most remote nation on earth, almost no one visits by choice, there’s one airline that flies here, and they are the most obese people on earth. Fat people are good at social distancing.

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