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10 Dictatorships You Didn’t Know About – Because They’re Our Friends

When one consumes western media to any level, it is easy to assume that the world is settled into good and bad camps, and there are approximately three dictatorships in the world, with the rest of the planet being a genuine utopia.

In fact, the world is much more complex, and Reporters Without Borders make genuine league table of dictatorships for us to look at. In fact, it teaches us that many countries not good. Confusion arises because if a dictatorship is our friend we look in the other direction

Here are ten genuine dictatorships you don’t know because they are friends with decadent west.

10) Qatar

Qatar may have recently fallen out with the rest of the middle-earth, but they are still darlings of the west because they have lots of oil and are hosting the definitely not at all corrupt World Cup.

Qatar is an absolute monarchy ruled by an Emir with a horrendous human rights record. Many thousands of immigrants have died building football stadiums, sadly no one cares. Still have more press freedom than Thailand.

9) United Arab Emirates

The UAE is a collection of absolute monarchies where all the royals take up different state posts. Often touted as a liberal part of Middle-Earth, in fact, there have been numerous cases of women getting arrested for being raped. Slaves, I mean, domestic helpers are also treated like shit.

Dubai is also a place where pretentious wankers like to take holidays.

8) Philippines

The Philippines manages to fall below Qatar and the UAE on press freedom after destroying press opposition and multiple extra-judicial killings. President Duterte hates drugs, and if you own a gun, it is possible to shoot someone so long as they like drugs.

Thankfully people still love El Presidente.

7) Thailand

Thailand lies flat bang in the middle of Morocco and Palestine when it comes to press freedom…

Basically, in Thailand, the wrong people kept winning the elections, so the glorious armed forces took power and then made a constitution that left the army in power. People protest even more than in Hong Kong, but alas that does not suit our narrative now, does it?

6) Myanmar

Myanmar was ruled by a military junta for a very long time and didn’t trade with the west. They decided to hold sham elections that left the military largely in charge and started trading with the west. All sanctions were dropped.

Genuine bitch Aung San Su-Chi became a nominal leader and started a genocide against the Muslim population of the country, and this was so serious some universities went as far as removing her honorary degrees!

5) the Artist Formerly Known as Swaziland – Eswatini

Eswatini, or as we called it in the old days Swaziland is a landlocked absolute monarchy in southern Africa.

Despite it being the most AIDS riddled country in the world, ladies are required to dance for the king with their baps out, so that he can pick more wives. Oh, and there’s a lot of poverty.

4) Singapore

On the press freedom index, Singapore falls lower than all of the above as well as devils of the west Russia, and Venezuela. Singapore is sometimes described as North Korea with high-speed internet.

No one would argue that Singapore has a high standard of living, but it has no opposition, capital punishment and dynastic Presidential succession (sound familiar). No one ever complains about Singapore.

3) Brunei

The Sultan of Brunei is so rich he has a golden toilet seat, maybe sometimes it is golden brown. Brunei is very boring, but the people are allowed to keep slaves/domestic helpers, and homosex is punishable by death. When the Sultan was pressed about this, he basically said: “it’s just a law we don’t plan actually to kill anyone.”

There was briefly some uproar about the anti-gay law, but everyone got over it to pick on the usual suspects like Venezuela (much more democratic than Brunei).

2) Equatorial Guinea

Sometimes called the North Korea of Africa, but mostly left alone because they do roaring trade with the US of A. One of the most atrocious human rights records on the planet and sandwiched between Somalia and Azerbaijan on the Press Freedom Index.

Fun fact Americans are the ONLY COUNTRY visa-free for Equatorial Guinea….

1) Saudi Arabia

When it comes to absolute piss-take dictatorships, nothing quite beats Saudi Arabia! Wanna talk press freedom? Last year the crown prince MBS (allegedly) had a dissident chopped up and destroyed in acid. Not only are our eyes closed when it comes to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, but we commend them when they do normal shit like let women drive. Less democratic than Iran, Cuba, and Venezuela, but of course, you would never know that from our friendship with them.

One of the cruellest or funniest things to happen with regards to Saudi Arabia was when the absolute monarchy with the shit human rights record got to head a UN committee on human rights. Lol?

And that’s our ultimate list of unknown dictatorships! Stand up against the man, don’t believe everything you read.

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