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Don’t get too excited about the Coronavirus Vaccine

Coronavirus Vaccine by pfizer

Pfizer famous inventors of what my friend used to describe as “magical weiner medicine” much to the delight of his girlfriend, may now have done something even more important than create a recreational drug for better sex. If what they are saying is true the company have produced a coronavirus vaccine that is 90% effective, meaning it works on 9/10 people.

We won’t go into the science aspect of it, which you can read about here. Instead we will continue our editorial policy of being miserable bastards and saying how it is.

Expect this to be slow, and expect rollout to be very racist.

When can we expect to see the coronavirus vaccine?

The UK government have said that they will start rolling it out to the most vulnerable by the end of the year, namely people on the front line and old folk. Amusingly though because Trump is being obtuse, rollout will delay in America.

Are there other vaccines?

Currently there are a number of other ones being worked on in America, Cuba, China and Russia amongst others.

Other vaccines will likely come.

This is great news, when can I book my holiday?

Not anytime soon, because herein lies the rub, the UK alone have pre-ordered vaccines from as many as 6 different potential makers. Or as it also called “edging your bets”. The UK has managed to do this because it is rich, other rich countries are doing this too. So,, whilst 2020 was the year of western people dying from coronavirus, 2021 will be the year rich countries start to immunize themselves.

How do you vaccinate 7 billion people

And herein lies the rub, whilst rich countries like Britain have acted like a kid with a Platinum card in a toy shop, poorer countries have not been out ordering vaccines. Vietnam put it bluntly when they said “we’re not going to waste money on something that might not work, we’re going to keep on trying to prevent the spread”.

And who will actually pay for this is gonna be a big problem. In this case one can only hope a cure is found by Cuba, the only country on earth that will not try to either rip everyone off, or use it as a political tool. Thankfully Cuba may well have a vaccine).

Then you have the sheer logistics of things. Vaccines need to be shipped and stored at certain temperatures, some countries, notably in Africa quite simply just do not have the refrigeration capabilities to make this happen.

Will black lives matter with a coronavirus vaccine?

Sadly probably not, countries in Africa without any minerals for rich countries to “invest” in are liable to be at the back of the que when it comes to being vaccinated. If you are from South Sudan you are probably not currently dancing around at the thought of a coronavirus vaccine.

So, when will the world be able to get back to normal?

Even if all vaccines are ready by early next year it is going to take a lot of time, money and political wrangling to “heal the world”.

If we’re lucky 2021 will be when the beginning of the beginning of the end, but travel will not even be in its infancy until the second half of 2021, and not even vaguely back to the old “normal” until 2022.

And even that is being optimistic.

WILL MASKS BE REQUIRED IN THE GULAG?

Have two countries with McDonalds ever gone to war?