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A Depressing Guide to Isle of Wight Dogging

A Depressing Guide to Isle of Wight Dogging

If you’ve never visited the United Kingdom, you’ll be forgiven for not knowing much about the Isle of Wight. Situated in the English channel, it’s the largest island in England. Some call it ”a godforsaken rock” and that’s coming from the good people who live there. In today’s article, we’re going to focus on Isle of Wight dogging. One of the island’s most depressing aspects.

What’s Dogging?

For our non-British readers, prepare to be introduced to a criminally overlooked aspect of British culture. It’s often cold, wet, and windy in the UK. But we don’t let this stop us from getting out in the great outdoors. Whilst some choose to hike Snowdonia on a weekend, others opt to go dogging.

A Depressing Guide to Isle of Wight Dogging
Close your eyes, son. It’s about to get messy.

The British slang term dogging first arose in the era of flared trousers, National Front marches, and dimple glasses: the 1970s. Dogging was used to describe voyeuristic blokes who spied on couples having sex outdoors. The term Dogging related to how the fellas would ‘dog’ the couples’ every move.

However, there is another story behind the origins of this British slang. Some claim dogging came from slang for dog walking. Many dogging males and couples would bring the family pet out for a walk in beauty spots to use it as a cover for their audacious sexual adventures outdoors.

As an added bonus, it’s almost impossible to get a German Shepherd to take the witness stand against you in court if you’re caught. This is handy as dogging treads a thin line between legality and outraging public decency, so it’s important not to get arrested whilst doing so.

These days, there are various dogging sites in the UK. They usually consist of quiet beauty spots, wooded areas, and car parks in the dead of night. So if you go down to the woods tonight you could see anything from a gangbang to a group of men huddled around a car, the latter certainly isn’t birdwatching.

Isle of Wight Dogging

Whilst the carparks and woodlands of the mainland UK are best avoided after dark in you don’t want to get caught in a sticky crossfire, the Isle of Wight is rather the opposite. Although the island is home to many carparks and beauty spots ripe for dogging, you’re likely to find confused men standing around and a depressing lack of sexually open-minded women.

Isle of Wight dogging is a well searched for term on Google. To take advantage of this, the first website that you’ll find is a dedicated Isle of Wight swingers personals and dogging site. But don’t be fooled and hand over your card details to sign up, scroll further down on Google for the bigger picture.

To investigate the reality of dogging sites on the Isle of Wight, we delved into British swingers forums and dogging sites to find the truth. This shone a light on the reality of dogging locally from the people who live there.

“I often go up a dogging place and don’t see anyone, I still go up but don’t see hordes of single guys one or two perhaps!”

– A Mildly Angry Dogger on the Isle of Wight.

Some claimed that most dogging sites are devoid of buxom women and are instead packed to the rafters with horny men wandering around looking for an elusive female. It truly is a depressing image that really reminds me of the nudist beach scene from Euro Trip blended with something from Shaun of the Dead…

“I think most doggers are scared of being recognised at Tesco’s. I would have said Morrisons but all the women in there have bus passes.”

– A Local Dogger Provides His Views of Dogging Opsec.

Another curse of living on a small island with a population of around 140,000 people is the village mentality that comes with it. The odds of bumping into one of the many horny men from the dogging sites in the local Tesco’s is very likely. You can never guarantee they’re going to be discreet.

I mean, imagine shopping on a Tuesday night with your other half and bumping into Dyson Doreen? God forbid she makes any inappropriate comments in the cucumber aisle. You’d apparently be safer in the pensioner’s haven of Morrisons, although mature British women can be equally frisky so I don’t see that as a foolproof shopping plan.

The Most Depressing Thing About Public Sex on The Isle of Wight

And now we come to what is, in my opinion, the most depressing aspect of public sex on the Isle of Wight. There is a beach on the Island called Blackgang beach and it’s a recognized naturist beach. Despite this ripe dogging site name and an abundance of big ol’ titties on show, there is apparently no dogging going on.

This is Great Britain, a country that created The Beatles, Oasis, and violent colonialism. There is an island full of people craving public gangbangs and there is a nudist area called Blackgang beach! Just how can an opportunity like this go unmissed?

Conclusion to Isle of Wight Dogging

In conclusion to our fairly depressing guide to Isle of Wight dogging, it can be surmised that the scene is pretty much dead. The insightful thread on the dogging forum soon switched to the upcoming Isle of Wight scooter rally before dying out. It wasn’t updated for the next few years.

It can be surmised that most islanders with a conquest attitude check in their raging hard-on and take the hovercraft over to the mainland. Probably recreating the Leonardo Dicaprio scene at the front of the Titanic as they do, albeit shouting something lewd into the English Channel instead of ”I’m the king of the world!”, which is a vivid image to behold.

Those who stay behind on the godforsaken rock resume stalking the dogging sites around the island, waiting for an elusive dogging couple whilst avoiding eye contact with other horny blokes rubbing their trousers ferociously to keep it on standby for when one does turn up.

Related Articles to Dogging in the Isle of Wight

Alongside criminals to Australia, alcoholism to natives, and denying the concept of white privilege to the Irish, dogging has since become another iconic British export. In fact, it’s since spread to Germany, the USA, and Brazil. It hasn’t, however, spread to the Isle of Wight.

In our opinion, why should the fine locals of England’s biggest island be deprived of the joys of dogging? It’s an issue that needs to be addressed, either at the next town hall meeting, women’s institute gathering, or otherwise!

Jason Green
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